Doesn't it sometimes feel like life is just slipping through your fingers and that in any minute all of this exhausting and tormenting baby stage will have disappeared. It did for me. Sometimes though I wanted the baby stage todisappear and other times I was even more frightened of what lay ahead. I guess either way I will eventually have to face it and accept that life as a mother can be a rewarding experience but at times it can also be a long hard road. If only motherhood could be more about fun and enjoying our little ones and less about hard work, tantrums (from us) and total and utter exhaustion. well having now survived the first 3 years of my second child's life, I can tell you that at times things do get easier and that you do get to eventually get some time to yourself. Plus, I do have some good little hints that can help you to stay semi in control, feel better about yourself and hopefully not be so damn exhausted all the time. 

Hi, my name is Melinda Walker and I am now a qualified counsellor.

I have 2 beautiful girls. Abbey is 8 and Chloe is 3 and most of the time I feel pretty blessed. Chloe is very contented and loves having people around her. Her big sister Abbey is really enjoying her and just can't seem to get enough hugs and kisses from her. Abbey tells me constantly that "she just loves her little sister so much." Even though second time around is so much easier than the first time, I still have my moments when I am completely overwhelmed, exhausted and just feel that I can't go on for another day. So, it's no wonder that those of you who aren't getting much sleep; are new mums; have a few children, or whatever else the case may be, are also equally exhausted.

With both kids I was hit with post-natal depression and believe I really did feel like I was hit and hit hard. The first time I tried to cure myself and did alternative medicine only and the second time Iwent on zoloft anti-depressants. For me, the second time around I knew what I was dealing with and I got help very quickly so my post natal depression didn't last as long as it did the first time.

The second time around, I was still breastfeeding at the time I went on Zoloft and apparently these are one of the few anti-depressants that they have researched to show that they are safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding. I did feel a bit dizzy at times and ended up reducing the dose with my doctor just slightly. I was on the medication for around 9 months all up, although towards the end it was quite a small dose. But everyone is different and everyone heals and improves at different times.

The Zoloft did however, make me feel enormously better and for most of the time feel the best I had felt in years. On my good days, I felt like I was back to my old self where I could do and achieve anything. It's an incredible rush to realize that you do still have something to give to the world and that you are not just a wasted empty shell living everybody else's life. On my bad days I slept, avoided the world and went into robotic mode. I had no emotions and nothing to give. On these days, I tried to meditate a couple of times a day, go for a walk or sometimes even just hibernate and rest.

To help improve myself even further, I started meditating for 10 minutes every day; started doing some very simple and quick yoga stretches; started doing some work again and put Chloe into creche 2 days a week.

I soon learnt to forgive myself for resting on my bad days and just accepted that I needed to do this for me and to be a better Mum for my kids. This definately helped to save my sanity and stopped me from getting even worse. I would take the phone off the hook and just enjoy the blissful quietness of no interrruptions.

On my good days I knew that I would achieve so much and that I would have bursts of returning to normality.

As a Mum we have to remember that we matter. We all seem to rush so much these days and between the madness of school, kids activities, creche rush, work,the dinner rush, the constant cleaning and just life in general-things can get pretty hectic sometimes.

Life just seems to be getting busier each day and the demands that are placed on us as women and as mothers seem to be getting greater and greater. Therefore it's not suprising that more and more women are falling in a heap and not getting to truly enjoy motherhood and their time with their children.

I hope that each of you will eventually understand that this can happen to any of us and in no way is it a failing on our part. My aim here is to help you learn how to deal with this illness, learn how to survive it, learn what you can do to improve your situation and your life and hopefully in time help you to learn to get over it. I also hope that you learn to deal with the enormous guilt we as mothers often feel for 'supposedly letting down our children.' 

Good luck in your quest for peace within yourself and please know deep in your hearts that even in your very darkest hour, that so many women just like you have suffered and are suffering the same pain. I hope that your cries and your pain and your pain start to lessen as I show you a better way of dealing with your emotions, dealing with life and trusting in yourself that you are a woman who matters.

May you each be safe and well and remember that often the best advice comes from your own intuition, rather than everyone else's uninvited opinions! You are a Mum and you have an amazing inner strength that truly can carry you through anything. I will help you to unlock that strength and show you how your journey through motherhood and being a woman can have more rainbows and less darkness.



Disclaimer: This web site contains purely personal information which has been of benefit to the creator and those she has worked alongside with who have also suffered from post natal depression. Any information provided herein has shown benefit to some people however, each person does respond differently to different techniques and in no way shoudl these techniques or suggestions be in place of seeking medical advice. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the user to make their own judgments about the accuracy of the content and the reliability of the information contained therein.  It is a recommendation that anyoone who believes they may be suffering from this illness should seek professional or medical advice and therefore should not rely solely on the information contained herein to heal them or to treat this illness.

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